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On the outside I may seem cold and aloof, to some laid back, some
people turn to me for advice on a manner of subjects and to
others I'm simply a 'header'. Its because I'm different and I see the
world in a different light and when I meet people I just want to have fun
with them, and yes I'm different but this is what made me a world champion
athlete and my business Rugby
Relics the best in its field and of course, you've
guessed it I'm arrogant too but according to a former Olympic coach I once
knew this is a necessary attribute of a
champion. Some people will describe me as a fool, to others I'm an inspiration,
some see me as a guardian angel fighting their cause, somebody called me a
'good man' this week and to
some I'm a just a twat. It's your opinion, you're welcome to it. If you
are paying attention to my daily activities on social media etc you may
have noticed a change in me recently. My persona has taken a dark new
exterior version and the new people I interact with are seeing me in a different light. To these people I'm seen as offensive and aggressive and people describe me as
'
not nice'.
This is because of my fight with an established government
system that is determined to place my family in danger and to add insult
to injury, I'm paying for this service with my council tax. What you see
is my exterior, its what's in front of you, but on the inside I'm the same
as everyone else, cut me open and I bleed, catch a virus, I get ill or I
may even die. I have similar emotions to other people and to return to the
new 'me' internally my change is due to environmental factors happening
that threaten the safety of my family. What people are seeing are my
emotions, anger and frustration finding their way to the surface. These
emotions
need to do this otherwise they will remain internal, fester and then maybe
erupt. Therefore, my new exterior is developed from a new interior which is
being fed by external factors.
This week my anger point has reached new high levels when a young
family moved into a new house in our street. What happened next was that life delivered
two hammer blows in quick succession. The heavens opened and their dreams
turned to nightmares, They had spent less than 48 hours in their new house
with their children including a five month old baby and were flooded, not
once, but twice in two days.
There is so much damage to property and
furniture that almost a new start is required for this young couple, this
is a devastating blow for them in their journey as a family. Friends and
new
neighbours have rallied around the couple, a gofundme page has been
created, local residents have donated cash and others are offering to
donate goods. But what are the emotional costs of this event? Will it have
a positive of negative outcome for them? Only time will tell. We as a
community wish them well.
I learned about this tragedy from a neighbour of the new family through
Facebook, she sent me photos of the damage and the aftermath and because
unfortunately I know who is to blame logistically for this devastation my
emotional status is affected and I get angry (again). I can't avoid
investing my emotions in the couples predicament. I turn the clock back
30+ years to when I was in their shoes and my anger grows because I've
been in that situation, a new born baby, a new house, its such an exciting
time but its so hard as well, every situation is new, there seems to be a
challenge around every corner. You face each challenge and complete it as
best you can but as a family you are in such a positive mindset because
you have so many dreams, so many visions, so many plans and so close to
Christmas too and then bang, something like this flood happens.
So I took a trip over the hill to see for myself the damage and to
record the event because let's face it, it's not God who is accountable
for this happening, its a government system and an unscrupulous businessman
that has allowed this to
happen. Several elderly residents have placed their trust in me to fight
the system on their behalf so this is an event that need to I need to record
this incident for our cause.
I chatted to the flood victim James as he was on the clean up operation
and confirmed my suspicions of accountability for the flooding, I took
some photos and returned home to calm myself down, James accepted my
Facebook friend request and I set about looking for family photos to use
as support for the family. I saved a couple and had to put myself to bed
early before I overdosed on the negative emotional chemicals frantically
bouncing around in my mind.
I woke up in the morning and eventually had what they call 'a light
bulb' moment, a fragment of time when you suddenly realise something or
you have a good idea. But on the way to that light bulb moment are many
moments and important pieces of information that allow you to reach the
'moment'. On this morning I had a nagging suspicion that a piece of
information is important, normally its something that doesn't seem quite
right, its a like a piece of jigsaw that won't fit into the puzzle. What I
woke up to the next morning is the image of James bending over kissing his
new born baby's head.
It was at the forefront of my mind and I knew it had
significance but I didn't know why? 30 minutes later I still lay in bed
having linked my thoughts together, then I achieved the 'light bulb
moment', personally I call it the 'ping', to me its the sound of a bell
going 'ping' and I suddenly know how why that jigsaw piece doesn't fit in
the puzzle or in this case it did fit and this is how:
I linked James' photo with his little girl to the image in my mind of
myself holding my first baby girl in the hospital 35 years ago, they say a
baby doesn't smile until seven weeks but what I saw at that moment was a
beautiful being looking up at me and smiling, that image is burned in my
mind forever, it will never fade, then I run through the images of my
three other children, that one moment when I held that tiny helpless
bundle in my arms for the very first time. I found that I could remember
each image as if it was yesterday, it was clear and as
sharp as if it was a high intensity digital photograph.My
children are grow up now, two have children of their own and one has a
little one on the way and I look at my children and way they and their
partners love their children like I loved them and I am so proud and my
heart fills with joy and I can say job done. That's me. I could die now and be happy that my job is done that's who I was, I
was a father, I hope that when I enter those pearly gates it will
be those four moments and the subsequent years that defined me as a human being, and I hope more
than anything that my children feel the same way.
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